12 Days of Christmas

According to The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes, "Importance [certainly has] long been attached to the Twelve Days, when, for instance, the weather on each day was carefully observed to see what it would be in the corresponding month of the coming year."

Well if that is true, looking at the 2 week forecast for the UK, it's going to be a dry spring, cloudy summer and heavy rain in September.  I guess there may be something in this after all?  If I look at the forecast for Canada that would give us snow in July and August so maybe as a folk law it only works in Blighty.

So, these 12 days are meant to represent a cessation of work and 12 feast days as we say thank you for the year past and set things in place for a great year ahead.  Judging by the number of Out Of Office emails I got yesterday the cessation of work is certainly true.  I have ceased work for the week and am in that limbo of too tired to do anything, too bored to sit still.  Earlier this week someone refered to that as having a "monkey brain"...always moving and bouncing around.  Sounds about right.

Christmas Day tomorrow.  Three days ago I double checked with my husband that we were invoking the $25 a present rule ( I have bought him a DVD, who said romance was dead!). "Oh no, that was last year when we had no money" he told me.  Crap! What to buy, what to buy? And how funny that he thinks we now have money, bless him.  He reminded me that he wants a new razor but could I find the model anywhere? No. So yesterday, defeated, I emailed him at work to go to Walmart and buy it and I'll wrap it up. I found the present that he bought me hidden in the wardrobe.  By accident...honest.  It's wrapped up so I can't see what it is but the smart money is on one of those coffee machines that you put capsules in.   Ooh I hope so.

So back to 12 days and 12 months...every year for the last five years I have created a vision board for the year ahead. Sounds weird maybe but I believe that if you visualize and articulate what you want it will happen. Some say that it is the universe responding to your rhythms, others that the frontal part of your brain is now consciously seeking what you want.  Whichever, thinking about it and planning it will make it happen.  They say "be careful what you wish for" and that is why.

This year for the first time I also created a 12 month wall of activities...post it notes of fun stuff that I want to do each month.  I was staring at that wall planner earlier...it's huge, 5 foot by 4 foot.  And I have completed 38 of the things posted this year, just three things undone, maybe 2.5 because sometimes opportunities come along that are not quite what you wished for, but an interpretation of that wish.  If you fancy trying this visualization and planning then my friend Louise runs a cool online course starting next month.  There is a link to it on the right of this page.  I have taken it twice...it's a really great way to live the life you want rather than have days passing and you are flowing with the tide.

Next week I will visualize 2015...don't leave any magazines lying around as I will be ripping and tearing.  Scissors? No way, I do it old school.

Merry Christmas!

Afternoon nap with Graham Norton

Four more sleeps or is it five. Dunno. Head is groggy with a winter cold. I have taken to my bed on a Saturday afternoon whilst small person watches Stampy Cat on my laptop and my husband is out present shopping. Feels like a hangover but it isn't honestly.  Although alcohol has certainly played a part in my weight gain this last year,  not so much the wine as the snacks I trough down after a class of "sav" as the wine shop lady calls it.  Having spent many long days at work since the summer I have concluded that you can drink too much wine if you work in HR...others will argue that no amount is too much.  So as I recover from or move into a horrid cold I have declared Christmas to be alcohol free chez moi. We'll see how that pans out.  See if we can make it to NYE, then maybe have some fizz.

Small person broke up from school yesterday, and is very excited and shiny. "It's the weekend now for 14 days!". He has Art Camp on Monday which he will love...they will be making wrapping paper as well as splash painting a canvas. Love that place.  Christmas starts on Tuesday for me, when I shall switch off the work PC until 29th.  Christmas Day will start early on 25th around 6.30am then there will be 2 hours pleading to open other gifts before we give in and drag ourselves downstairs.  Hopefully Santa will have left a surprise gift under the tree...an XBOX One.  I have resisted all requests for video games up until now.  He's 48 for God sake, make do with the iPad!  But having seen small person dancing to Just Dance on the iPad I knew what we had to do. There is talk of MineCraft which we have avoided til now, but given that small person watches videos of other people's games I guess it's not a huge leap to let him build his own world. The family farm that we inherited from him, on Hay Day, just doesn't cut it any more.

So off to sleep now for an afternoon nap, listening to Graham Norton on tinternet...I wonder what Santa is bringing me this year?

I couldn't eat a whole one

"I love kids".  Who really means that? I love mine, I like a few others, mostly though I'm ambivalent. At this moment the house is bathed in silence. The cats are hiding as far from little hands as they could be. The 5 children that invaded the house at 9.06am have left. My husband? He escaped at 9.15am favouring a blood test over the screaming.  And here is the dilemma and the need for some boundaries...the 4 kids who invade ( sibling pairs ) can't play together in their houses as three of the four parents work shifts, mostly nights.  So our house is the beacon of space and warmth.  As we get into winter their desire to play inside will increase. So I have have staked my claim as "the worst mom ever"... Yes, he says mom now... And have started blocking their entry.  It isn't win win as instead of 5 screaming kids I get one wailing and moaning one, and I can't ask him to leave!

So, my quite Saturday morning didn't happen.  I can escape soon for a back massage and reflexology, my birthday present!  From me.  And the when I get back I get at least I hours silence as husband and small person "need to get me a present".  Every year my birthday pops up by surprise, unannounced without warning.  Those last minute dashes to the store are inevitable it seems.

Small person is 7 tomorrow so 2 hours at Chuck E Cheese has been bought.  Screaming, junk food, jumping and sliding.  Just like my house this morning, but at Chuck E's they have a large mouse and coca cola. Small person tells me that the three kids from his class that he invited may bring their siblings! I hope they bring cash too.  His chums up the street are all coming and one whispers to me before he left earlier, to tell me what he has bought for a present.  "It's only small, some were $25 and my mom said she wasn't paying that, so we got one for $5". Bless them.

In other news, still overweight needing to diet and do yoga.  Small person is vey happy at school now, but his effort and output is poor. So he's going back to Smart Club for after school lessons. I'm not a pushy mum ( I still speak English ) seeking A grades.  I want him to get at least "satisfactory".  He is not happy about the return but hey ho!  The cats go into the vets hospital on Monday to be spayed.  One has been howling at the boys for 10 days. When they go out to school and work she is silent.  Poor cow!  US Thanksgiving has seen work turn from frantic and wine inducing, to silent and calm.  I spent a lovely 2 days processing paperwork to India; filing and taking training modules. I had two meetings in 2 days and the first 15 mins of each was spent discussing how quite it was. My art is on show at the Alton Mill gallery; the house needs "christmassing up". I have bought plywood and a jigsaw.  The project begins later today...photos will follow, of either the front of the house, or us at A&E seeking bandages.

Remember Remember the 5th of November

It's funny how some things make you nostalgic.  For me bonfire night always has fond memories. The Fire works, the bonfire on the village green, sparklers.  Love sparklers.  We had planned to light some fireworks here in Canada but the local fire service, with the power of telepathy and a keen knowledge of Diwali, headed that off.  Notes were delivered to every house last month reminding us that you need a permit for fireworks outside key holidays.  Not many folks here know about Guy Fawkes Night, but I guess why should they?  My husband explains it using language like "celebrating the thwarting of Catholics trying to blow up parliament" which is factual if a little emotive in today's world.  We forget that all those years ago the religion to persecute was Catholicism.  Society now having moved on to stigmatize other faiths.

I remember aged 4 or 5 waiting for Dad to get home so that we could light the fireworks. Him trying to light a Catherine Wheel with little success. Going back to try again...never return to a firework Dad.  Remember the firework code! That memory is over 40 years old but clear as day in my head.  I think nostalgia comes from having a child around.  I remember things I did at his age, consciously to try to contextualize and understand his behaviour, and randomly or most likely subconsciously At the oddest times.

Over the last month we have been creating memories, traditions, habits. It is now our tradition to go apple picking the weekend prior to Thanksgiving; to bake pumpkin tarts on Thanksgiving day; to go Trick or Treating for the fun of it; to go for brunch at Denny's on the first Sunday after mid month payday.  Then there are the classics - Santa starts watching you from July ( when all the christmas cartoons are on TV) for his naughty/ nice list; no Christmas decorations can go up until after my birthday; the Christmas cake must be made before Grandmas birthday (Nov 25th); The trip to see Santa at the Pioneer village around the 23rd Dec.  "do you think he is the real Santa mummy?" Maybe, although he may be a helper as Santa is very busy.  "No, he is the real Santa because he was really old!" Okay.

Another memory that stirs at this time of year is watching, with my Grandma, the Remembrance Day service on the BBC. Born around 1903 she lived through both world wars, Granddad fought in WW1, lied about his age and sneaked off at 14 and signed up for the adventure. I have vivid memories of grandma telling me about being given tins of condensed milk during rationing in WW2 and feeling terrified she would get into trouble, only for the bottom of the bag to give way and them all fall out right in front of a copper.  I remember dad and her telling me about them arriving home to find that the front door had been blown off by Gerry bombs.  I wasn't there, clearly, but it is part of my life. Remembering and respecting are very important to us and we are starting to help small person understand  and show respect for history.

We are off to the local Cenotaph on Sunday to pay our respects. Small person with his Beaver Scout troop and me close by.  I think that those connections to history are powerful influences. Last week at work someone shared a comic image on the intranet with likely all the best of intentions... A photoshopped picture of Kitchener from WW1 propaganda. It offended me. I mulled over it for some hours...why did it offend me?  It felt disrespectful in some way, maybe it was the ignorance of its origins by the sharer that offended me. The apparent lack of  of education about recent history offended me.  It felt like trampling across graves in a grave yard if that makes any sense.  I felt compelled to raise my concerns. Others shared them and the photo was taken down.  It rare that stuff bothers me that much but we really do need to understand and remember what others sacrificed so that we can live the lives we want to live.

More upbeat next time I promise :-)
Happy Wednesday

Slowing down to winter.

The autumn is truely upon us. There is a nip in the air and the trees...well this is Canada, so imagine the national flag and you get some idea of how red the leaves can be. There is also orange like fire and amazing yellows that are almost primary.  So beautiful.  I love how earlier this week small person remarked " wow, the trees are so beautiful" and then was in awe again as he road to school through inch deep paths of yellow leaves.  The space here seems to make the colours look more striking...there are just so many trees that there are miles of red rather then yards.

I have the house to myself for a few hours as the guys have gone out in search of a bike trail, small person now being proficient on his two wheeler.  My husband likens it to when you first drive a car alone...the independence to move around, the excitement.  Small person loves his bike.  So what to do with my peaceful few hours...this clearly, and hoovering and experimenting with bulgar wheat for a shepherds pie later.  Although it's probably better called arable farmer pie...I have great hopes for the recipe as I try to eat more rounded meals rather than being the veggie who eats the side dishes.

I had my annual medical on Friday, which I remind myself is a benefit but it feels very intrusive.  I took 4 hours in all.  They took blood, swabbed stuff, checked my hearing, sight and breathing, made me run on a treadmill, gave me a tetnus shot.  I had to go 12 hours prior without food which tied to my Go Sober for October efforts meant that by time I made it back to office I had the headache from hell. Straight into a call to be trained on how to use an inbox ticket tracking system.  Blimey that was a long day.  I arrived home to find that they guys had gotten themselves dinner, at Wendy's where small person had allegedly had a triple burger and fries.  That's a lot of meat for a six year old, even with his hearty appetite.

So, slowing down?  I need to.  In the last week I have arrived at work running, have sat on a phone for 7 hours with the occasional emergency dash to go pee.  I have been shouted at, ignored, listened to, chastised, praised, spoken down to, applauded, and I have heard and spoken a good few profanities.  Is it always like this in my virtual work world? Not so much although a great friend observed that it is becoming the new normal.  So I guess it falls to me to control what I can, change what I can and avoid getting overwhelmed by it all.  I remarked to my husband earlier that I shattered  this weekend and, as he does, he pointed out the obvious..." You were at work till 8 every night this week, it's not surprising".

So when I had my medical the Dr quizzed me about worklifebalance and I told her that I have a good thing going...I work part time, I get to spend time with small person and my husband, I have no commute.  Sweet.  But that's not true this week...and whilst the job is very important as it pays the bills it's not the most unpaid fun I could be having...so, with some effort I am sure, October sees me slowing down into winter rather than running like a crazy person, snapping at my family and eating Cheetos for lunch.

Happy October

We have been here for a year

 

My best photo memories of our first year... 

 

Squam, Calm & Slow

Last Wednesday I headed for the airport, frazzled from work, life and parenthood. I was so tired that my expectations were just for peace. Peace to think, peace to breathe, peace to be.  Wobbly at my foundations, after the tragic death of Robin Williams which hit home hard, I needed repair.  My flight to Boston was like a roller coaster - seat belts at lock and load. I arrived at Logan with a 90 minute wait for my shuttle ride to the mountains.  Oh my, what a sparce airport...Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts and a magazine rack.  Coffee in hand I sat and crocheted the time away.  No rush.  Nice to be able to sit still for once.

Picked up on the dot by Joe, my shuttle driver, I headed to the mountains of New Hampshire and made great friends as we drove.  Three awesome kindred spirits on the bus, plus the inspiring Joe who embodied the American dream.  After 90 minutes we arrived at RDC...a  wooded property on Squam lake, dotted with uninsulated cedar and pine cabins with stone chimneys and ancient "iceboxes" topped up daily by Ice Boys.

My room was like Little House On The Prairie...stark, clean, wooden with a cosy bed and a window that let in nature.  I took a nap and woke up for dinner.  An introvert in a crowd...of introverts. It was so easy to talk and make connections...so easy.  What was that about?

My first workshop started with an activity to let go of concerns and embrace adventure.  I pledged to stop thinking and just be; to slow down; to notice where I was and how I felt.  Sounds easy but it took effort and courage.  I had the best time from that point in, I painted, I walked, I danced, I ate great food but most importantly I had found my tribe.  These were people who dressed like me; thought like me; creative; achievers; heroines of challenging lives.  It was the most present I have felt in my entire life.  It was the best of times.

It's so hard to describe further...but in 2 words it was calm and real.  I can't wait to go again next year. Rather than wish away the year in between I aim to take what I learnt and apply it to my life now.  Life is so short that we should embrace it and spend it wisely, doing what we love, close to nature, with kindred spirits.

When I was 18--25 I lived a hippyish style life, I worked with plants; my friends were hippies; It was the age of Aquarius.  I was clean, but they smoked herbs.  Those were fun times and I haven't thought of them in years.  It's so funny...a few weeks back I had looked at my wardrobe and thought " I need to smarten up, get a more corporate look".  In truth I now know that I need to dress more like me, more layers, more woollens, more autumn shades, more trips to the Thrift Store and more sewing my own clothes.  I had it right at 18, and only now do I get that.  I won't turn up at meetings in what my husband calls "bag lady chic" - don't bite the hand that feeds.  But I know who I am now, and I met 100 people just like me, so in the spirit of Inclusion I will bring myself to work and throughout my life, without appology. Happy days.

Planning My Escape

After the longest school holiday season we have ever known I am ready for peace and quiet.  Anyone with kids knows that "a holiday with kids" is essentially "same old same old, just in a different location".  Unless you are rich enough to go to places with a kids clubs. or lucky enough to have relatives to go along with you, there really is no rest at all.  Maybe we feel this so much because we have an only child, or maybe because we had him "late in life", likely both of those reasons plus a huge spoonful of our shared introvertion that values silence for a few hours every day. 

I recall when I first realised that I needed to live with and marry this guy - it was when we could sit in silence for ages and neither of us felt uncomfortable or the need to fill the air with words.  Bring a baby into that world, on your 40th birthday, and its noise noise noise from there on in.  I love the little bugger to bits, well both of them really, large and small, but I do need some peace - so I am off to an art retreat in New Hampshire for 5 days, stopping over in Boston for a night on my return "because I can".  Not too sure what to expect at the retreat but its 5 days when I don't have to have debates about brushing teeth; not eating meals in front of the TV, restricting the IPad.  "Oh mum, please let me watch videos on the Ipad, I'll only watch inappropriate stuff, I promise".

Being a planner you'd imagine I had everything organised, but not so much this time.  I booked the retreat before I knew how I would pay for it; I fly out in 2 days and I still have no firm idea how to get from Logan Airpot to a lake side in New Hampshire.  The only preparations I have done is to spend 1 hour in the local thrift store buying 9 T-shirts that I will transform into a wrap; a cardigan and - get this - leg warmers! "Fame!"  In the joining instructions it talks about taking your own sewing machine if you want to.  I'm guessing many folks aren't flying in.  I plan to get all of my stuff in one holdall, but I'll check it in rather than spend 20 minutes at security explaining the presence of knitting needles and scissors.  I think they are less stringent now but better safe than sorry.

In wider news, my husband's work contract was extended another 6 months; the kittens Mogg and Dave are 7 months old now, enormous and all set for the snip in a months time.  The vet talked me through the process of spaying and neutering and I did have to remind him that they are both Female, even Dave.  I guess he'd have spotted that soon enough.  The allotment is at full harvest.  We have 32 pumpkins, a tonne of beans and Sunflowers that reach the sky.  Small person went back to school this week.  He loves it!  Thank goodness.  After a miserable first year, getting into trouble in the pursuit of "fitting in" and being sat in the corridor most days, hopefully he'll enjoy this year.  Fingers and toes are crossed.  (although the downside of him having a group of friends is that our house is full of screaming children every day - downside is for the introverts who like some silence sometimes.  Small person loves the chaos.)

I painted a fabulous picture for the local art show, only to get distracted by my paid work, and forget to enter it before the deadline.  I am thinking about joining the board of the local community farm, as they have some challenges ahead around funding and securing their future and I think I can help.  Small person and I went to family yoga earlier - it was a free demo.  Small person enjoyed some of it and lay on the floor sulking for other parts, especially after he stretched too far and "split his pants".  We won't be signing up for the programme.

Blue Potatoes & Captain UnderPants

The leaves are beginning to turn just a little.  Only about 5% of them but enough to tell us that summer is winding down.  I think it's been a lovely summer, weather wise, but locals tell me its been dreadful - I guess its what you are used to.

Saturday today so a slight lie in after a very long (not) part time work week.  It does seem to be a 21st Century phenomenom that the weeks prior and post your holiday see you making up the time that you were off.  Could be worse. Not many people get to work with cats at their feet and crickets cricketing outside their window.  So slight lie in, feed the guys then off out to Alton Mills to collect some leaflets and posters to distribute for the September Art show.  By all accounts it will be fantastic because they rejected my entries so the standard must be very very high ;-). 

After a beautiful 40 minute drive north to the Mill I collected my leaflets, and orders on where to take them, then spent a silent 30 minutes looking at art. They have a new exhibition with judged entry starting soon and I am working on a piece for that, so I wanted to see what "acceptable" looked like.  Some of the art is mind blowingly good - huge canvas' heavy with bright oil paint, landscapes, abstract, lots inspired by Canadian flora.  And some of the art, well lets just say its not to my taste, too fussy and laboured.  Each to her own.  I took my husband and small person to the Mill last weekend as we were out exploring.  In a rare moment of praise he exclaimed "you can do better than this crap".  Bless him.

Head home past some very fine Firemen running a charity car wash in aid of the local Hospice.  Using their big equipment. It would be rude not to stop I reckon.  I'll move on now as the temptation for paragraphs of double entendres has been beaten down.

So, leaflets in the car and off I went, spending a lovely 2 hours driving here and there giving them out.  The library, the sports centre- all very accepting.  The book store - no, already had them but that was okay, not a wasted trip as I found out that the new Captain UnderPants is out on Tuesday and she has a load in stock waiting to go on sale ;-)

Next stop Starbuck, with leaflets and in need of an ice tea.  As I suspected Starbucks only support local community activity that is non profit, and as the Art show is folks selling their creations the corporate giant said no.  Finger to the man - off to the local Art studio to see the owner who was very happy to take some.  Off to the Pottery painting store, where they greeted me by name, again very happy to help.  Next Second Cup thinking they'd do a Starbucks on me, but no.  Poster up and off I go.  (It was just like the Ruby in there, Corner Gas watchers, and it is attached to the gas station!).  Final stop the ReStore. They said absolutely, poster up.  All in all a great morning and I am feeling very connected to the community at last.

Home, feet up for 10 minutes when small person announces that he and his BFFs are waiting by the car, to go to the Skate Park.  Now here's the thing - recently I have started saying "tomorrow we could..."; "maybe we could..." and it is being absorbed and processed as "10 minutes after she gets back we are going out".  The joy of a 6 year old mind!  So, I agree but with a catch. "I'll take you all to the skate park if first you come with me to the allotment to dig up some potatoes".  Huge sigh from mine with wining; but the 2 BFFs were totally up for it.  A fun 15 minute journey where two 6 year olds and an 8 year old try to out do each other with boasts about who has the biggest head, before One Direction comes on the radio and I have to crank up the volume as they all sing along.

Mine wanders off to play with the hose pipe whilst the 2 BFFs offer to help me get the potatoes.  They had no idea where we'd find them, probably hanging from trees.  My garden fork was enough to awe them.  "It's like a giant fork!" they tell me.  Bless.  So I dig a little and turn the soil over and they are absorbed with spotting the treasure.  No moans about dirt or bugs - we filled a bucket with 10lbs of spuds. It was great fun and they liked it too. 

To top off an already great day, the Indian chap from the other plot came over to thank me for the Blue Potatoes that I gave him last week.  He boiled them, he told us, and "they tasted so good, like butter" - he said this with great florish and sincerity.  I remarked that they are a little odd looking as they go light blue when boiled but he tossed that remark away with his hands and said.  "but the taste.  So good."  Such a nice man.  Such a great day.

A month has passed since I wrote...

What have we done in that time?  Small person and I went camping. First night there was an amazing storm, thunder, lightning, very very awesome.  We weren't scared but small person did wake me at 3 am to say that he wanted it to stop as it was keeping him awake.  We lasted two nights then went home, a day early.  I have concluded that we need a holiday where there is organized kids entertainment.  He can make friends fast but once those folks drift off for dinner he expects me to be Mrs Tumble and I can't be doing with all of that.  I'm tired and grumpy.

So where next ...I am taking him to New York for a weekend in August.  No planned kids entertainment but hopefully it matches his energy level so no boredom will set in.  We have a budget of $150 whilst we are there...so we will eat pizza, drink cheap pop and do free stuff...central park will figure highly and there is a free kids show in Bryant park each afternoon...yes please.  He wants to stay up late so Toys R Us after dinner is the Friday night plan.  Off to see Matilda on Sat night.  Our one extravegance. Sunday planning a hop on hop off bus trip stopping at the museum where the animals come awake at night.  I have warned him that the Tablet of Armun Ra is at the Smithsonian so nothing will come to life, but he is ever hopeful.

Talking of magic and mysticism, I read a help guide recently on childcare.  Mine is six and a half so I figured reading one book in that time wasn't excessive.  It was the Child Whisperer, and despite my cynicism at the start I thought it was great.  It is an evolution of Jungian theory - like MBTI for kids.  That appealed to me because I had studied all of that back in the day when I worked in training and development.  "It really spoke to me" but that may be because the author and I have the same personality type.  The type that loves 4 box models and categorization.

I recommend it to anyone though. I learnt that small person and I have the same type, loud, spontaneous, action oriented, get bored by qu 3 of a 10 question quiz. I am planning on writing a one pager for his new teacher titled Understanding My Child!  I learnt that my husband is a different type to the boy and I. He is inaction to our action; he is silence to our jibber jabber.  No revelation there, but interesting. And I learnt that my husband's type are prone to say "that is stupid" a lot, and what they are actually saying is "that could have been done so much better".  It's not them being abusive, they are disappointed. Fascinating I thought.

Back to July, I have been going to Yoga, which is great. Yin Yan yoga which is all about stretching, calm and breathing. It is a great way to try and chill for an hour.  My lack of bendiness is alarming  but I knew that.  Scooting around with small person has likely exacerbated my knee problem, so that I now have a loose kneecap.  Long walks to and from camp this week have required an orthopaedic knee brace, which is such an "on trend" look with my shorts. But walking anywhere in Canada is level one eccentric, so hobbling adds nothing much to my already odd persona.

The allotment is thriving although it will be all but a pumpkin patch a month from now...they are like triffids. Even the colorado beetles avoid them.  All in all a busy month living life.

Venom or the Incredible Hulk?

Who'd win?  I say Hulk ( I always say Hulk, huge fan).  Apparently the answer is Venom "as he grows badder every day."  Good to know.  Filed that information to use later.

Day off tomorrow - Canada Day.  The street opposite ours is having a street party, huge flags draped accross the road.  Reminds me of the Queens Silver Jubilee when I was a kid, although needs more blue with the red and white.  Our plans include not getting up at 6am and at some point, in between storms, going to the allotment.

A Cheeter or the Incredible Hulk - who can jump higher?  I say Hulk.  No, a cheeter "cheeters can jump a million high"   Good to know.  Filed.

I was feeling homesick yesterday - saw lots of friends on facebook and was reminded of how long it is since I went out for a coffee or a drink; had a grown up meal; had a break.  As we drove up to the allotment small person and I chatted about England and missing friends...he misses his little bromance gang and the girls who liked him to chase them at playtime.  "Should we go back home?" I asked.  "Seriously Mom!  Oh my Gawd! no way".  So you like it here then?  Good.  What do you like best?  "MarineLand and in Grade 2 we get to go swimming as a lesson...from school in a building!" 

Who is the only superhero that can defeat Venom?  Hulk?  "no mum, I'll give you a clue, it begins with a SSSS"  Spiderman,  no.  Superman, no.  You're sure its not the Hulk?  "SSSSSSSSilver surfer, but he doesn't want to fight, so Venom just gets stronger."  Aha!

Small person and I are going camping on Sunday for 3 nights, in a Yurt.  It has a proper bed and electricity and is near both the showers and the childrens play area so hopefully we have all bases covered.  We spent a fun hour in Canadian Tire earlier buying stuff...cooking stove, check, cooler, check,  enormous marshmallows, check, but we have eaten most of them already.  Also for $12 at the recycle shop we got plates, cups, cooking pots, barbeque tools.  We are good to go.  The Ipad is coming, but it will have a low profile and will only come out for car journeys to MarineLand and the Zip Line park (eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk). I have introduced a new regime for summer - "If you want 30 minutes on the ipad you have to draw one picture and write one sentence in your summer scrapbook".  This worked well on the first day, all be it that it took some explaining and rebuffing his attempt to renegotiate terms.  Now, on day three he doesn't want the ipad - great...but the journal?  Please write a sentence, keep your brain working.  Nope.  Hmmm!

I just asked him "Darth Vader or Venom?".  Venom.  "Why?"  Because he has webs, he can tie Vader up!  Obvious really when you think about it.

Happy Canada Day!

It's so quiet!

Every night for the last two weeks the street has been filed with kids playing, going in and out of others houses. We have become part of that with Small person now having 5 BFFs in our road. But tonight all is silent. The streets are empty, apart from the Canadian guy 3 doors up who fixes his car at weekends, drinks beer and some week shouts "the f word".  Italy are playing football and the folks here take that very seriously.  I was going to watch the match, as they are playing England, but I was out voted by a small person who wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland ( again) and a large person who wants an easier life.  So I breeched the curfew and cut the front lawn...alone, just me and the Kanuk fixing his car.

Earlier today small person went to a party...a pool party.  Should I leave him or should I stay? He put his trunks on, jumped in the deep end which is 10 foot deep, and had to be dragged to the edge by the birthday boy.  I stayed.  "Harking but nah heeding" is the order of the day with him at the moment. I chatted with Mums as he splashed and sploshed for 3 hours. We talked about school stuff, as 3 of them are teachers.  I learnt that I should be doing 30 minutes, reading, riting and rythmatic with him every night, in addition to homework.  I had no idea.  I learnt that spelling and grammar have been removed from the curriculum.  When I told my husband that he used the f word.  We have found the cost of moving to Canada...education.

I have bought the Child Whisperer on kindle - maybe whispering rather than shouting will get the small person to pay more attention...we shall see. I have read the first three pages but then I fell asleep for 2 hours.  Introvert talking with strangers at pool party equals exhaustion.  Another party tomorrow...this one is at Chuck e Cheese, which I have only heard about in movies. A friend tells me is is nasty pizza, watery wine and flat beer, but kids love it.  My husbands Fathers Day treat is that he gets to stay home alone whilst we go to the party. What price respite?

Happy Fathers Day to my dad, home alone with the cats.  Love you.

Culture Shock

I was at work on Friday, beavering away in my office at home, when through the window I heard a fascinating conversation that told me more about the difference between Europeans and North Americans than I ever knew. My neighbour from next door but one, many generation Canadian, was having a conversation with the woman across the street. He doesn't work as he is on the compo, with a back injury.  I know this as that was Thursdays listening novello.  I assume he gets bored as he pounces on people for conversation the minute they leave their homes or cars.  Any how, the cultural shock story..

He..." Do you watch soccer?"

She... "No, I don't get it."

He..."I know, the scores are like 1 to zero after 90 minutes.  90 minutes and that's all you get!.  Men running around a huge field chasing a white ball.  There's no excitement and low scores eh!"

She..."there's a competition starting soon, I've seen flags on cars"

He..."Yeah, the World Cup.  They make a big fuss about it. I just don't get it."

Then the Polish guy up the street gets home, they share their confusion with him.  He disagrees with them obviously, so my neighbour tries to explain that Hockey is a real game, "There's contact and fighting and they score 45. It's fast, I like a fast game. Soccer is slow.  I don't get it!"

Now I'm not a huge football fan, being a Scotland supporter you learn early that the only way you get to the World Cup is on a package deal or an Easy Jet flight.  But I supported Spurs from the sofa back when Ricky Villa and Ozzy were all the rage.  I watched that other Argy handball to win. I know that Camaroon do that corner post dance thing when they score.  I know that Pele is a god and Terry is a dreadful role model, but a great defender.  I know that the national team suffers because the players have greater loyalty to their clubs, that are floated on the stock market and driven by money men. 

I spent the first 15 years of my working life in a male dominated world.  Where football was discussed for hours every Monday morning, and then again after the mid week match.  I know it's about skill and stamina, that the team formation is critical. I don't understand the offside rule...but more in terms of why do you need it.  I get the whole formation part of it.  I learnt, at 19, that you don't join in those conversations unless you know your stuff.  They are serious, important, tribal.  They are where men, who rarely express emotion, express emotion.  I never joined in.  I made the right noises if questioned.  Clearly Watford were the better team and Luton were W*****s.  Apparently still the case.

So, to hear a grown man saying that he has nothing in his blood for football is actually shocking to me.  It is my first "you are not like us" experience.  I had assumed that would be over politics or war, but no...sport.  I guess that whilst the Olympics unites us, ball games devide us.

I'll stick with my plants:-)

Sat On The Front Porch

As predicted I have moved quickly from grumbling about 4 months of snow to winging about the heat. Today it's in the high 20s with no shade so feeling a lot warmer. Tomorrow the weather channel predicts 34 degrees, which I am guessing is high for May, but as it's our first spring here I am not sure.   The back garden is now in full sun so I have escaped onto the front door step for shade.  If this was the UK neighbours would be twitching curtains and questioning my sanity.  In Canada people seem to live in the street.  Four doors up they are playing street hockey, further on basketball.  The woman across the street is greeting all neighbours with discussions about their front garden. Much talk of ice storms, maple damage and dandelions.  Someone told me the other day that " in Canada a home is not your castle" but I suspect that your front yard is your kingdom.

In a moment of madness and defeat yesterday I took small person to the animal rescue centre. They wouldn't let me leave him there so we adopted two kittens instead.  The speed of the decision is the madness I refer to. The defeat is that small persons reward chart is now passe and we were never going to get to our kitten goal.  So do we wait until he starts to listen, tidy up, eat lunch at school, go to bed and stay in bed? Or de we reverse the psychology and get him the promised kittens with the new insentive being "behave or they go back".  We probably should have waited for behavioural nirvana; and we have probably created a rod for our own back but it felt like the right thing to do.

I have never seen him so happy.  The kittens are super cute and they play fight like ninjas which he finds hysterical.  He seems to be trying to train them like dogs, and believes that he has to watch them all day to "take care of them". Thankfully we convinced him to watch a cartoon and the kittens took the opportunity to climb into the blanket basket and have a sleep.   He hasn't asked for the iPad once since they arrived.  He was just playing sticky ninja on the laptop, but after 15 minutes he said he was "fed up" and returned to kitten training. I suspect that they will love the peace tomorrow, when he is at a school. I'm planning a quiet Monday too.  The US are on holiday, so hopefully all emergencies will be on hold until Tuesday. I have planned to do that file tidy and archive that will make life easier.  Happy days.

I met my new allotment today

And she's a beauty.  10 k from home, in the rolling hills.  On the way there I had to stop to let two deer cross the road. Reminded me of home.  The allotment ( they call it a garden here ) is a strip of land 10' by 40', so 1/3 of the size that I had back in the UK, but that is the plan...start small.

I feel like I need to relearn how to grow some things.  I started gardening proper 28 years ago.  Whilst most people come to gardening late in life, I started there when I left school.  Back then I mostly grew flowers from seeds and cuttings, endless clematis plants and annuals, then my passion moved to perennials and alpines.  I like conifers but there has never been any romance there for me.   Dabbled with heathers for a bit, they are beautiful.  I didn't start growing veg until I got my UK allotments 4 years ago.  I remember my first afternoon on the plot, faced with soil like concrete, hacking away with my pick, looks of derision from some plot holders.  One guy who decided to lecture me on what to do, what not to do.  Gave me loads of advice, all of it wrong, but I think he meant well.

It takes time to find your groove on an allotment...for many it is a solitary activity on purpose, so the concept of joining a community is slow to realize.  For every chatty person there are 5 people who just want you to shut up and move along.  Over time I worked out who to chat to and who to stay away from.  No one was mean, but folks just wanted peace.  I learnt not to talk about the fact that I was qualified in horticulture because despite the study and the years of experience with plant propagation I had minimal experience of growing food.  After 4 years I gained a grasp of what I could grow and a huge knowledge of what happens if you cut corners - "I'll cover the cabbages tomorrow" result was bird ate them overnight.  "I'll pick those red current at the weekend" result No redcurrents.  "Just snap off the bind weed for now" result even more bindweed.  I wouldn't say that I am great at growing veg, because like all things in my life there is limit to the effort I am prepared to put in.  I get bored with rules and protocol - hence the knowledge of cutting corners.

So here I am, facing my first season growing food in Canada, actually further south than I was in the UK, so I expect a drier warmer summer climate.  Once again I am faced with having lots of knowledge but limited practical experience.  I am very fortunate to have been given a plot that was well managed by the previous tenant. The soil looks rich and clean, apart from couch grass.  Couch grass and I are are old adversaries but we have learnt to live in harmony over the years.  At the open day earlier the site manager advised us that our three greatest pests are deer, wild turkeys and black fly.  Small person questioned her at length about the turkey's - in fact he spent 20 minutes asking her questions on many topics.  He has a thirst for knowledge and I suspect he is also sponsored by Duracell to keep going - he gets paid by the word!

The hierarchy at the open day today is already evident.  The wise old women are already offering to give guidance and advice ( wether you need it or not ).  There is a large group of retired Indian folk who have taken a plot 10 times the size of mine - I hope they grow awesome veg from Asia as that will be cool to see.  I tried to chat to them but they are a closed shop at this point.  There are folks from Italy, UK, Jamaica, Pakistan, Canada  and US.  If we do get to talk it will be cool to learn from each other. But if folks want to be alone that is cool too.  I'm aching a little from spending a warm hour cleaning 60 sq foot of soil.  Only 340  sq foot more to go.   Small person made friends with Lily, the resident dog, so all in all it is shaping up to be a fun season.

Career Day - Guess who didn't have a gun!

Spring has finally sprung.  I have planted seeds in my new mini greenhouse - happy days!  Amy, from the Community Garden (translation - Allotment) has been in touch - we can go onsite from 10th May....I am very excited but if I am honest I actually have no idea where it is.  North about 6K but more than that - not sure.  Mental note - work out where it is this week.  As it goes I am doing a charity walk on that day - just 10K fundraising for the local Hospice which survives just on donations.  There was a huge banner about it accross Highway 50, which was in itself a huge feat of bravery.  As I believe that we see stuff for a reason I thought "yup, i'll do that, do some good and get to see the countryside".  The forecast is for 23 degrees so I may actually be grumbling about the heat 3 weeks after seeing off the snow.

The snow - that was on the ground, by my reckoning, for 22 weeks.  I am told that that is unusual - but I've seen every episode of Ice Road Truckers so I suspect folks are confused.

Last Friday I went into small persons school to give three career talks to Grade 5  (not 5th graders, I was corrected there) kids.  First group, pre lunch were fab, post lunch groups were mostly fab all be it a tough gig straight after lunch.  Third group, last lesson on a Friday, were still fab but exhausting.  I expect my memory of 40 years ago is missing data but I don't recall talking amongst ourselves and over other people.  In those days board rubbers (don't panic foreign people, that is an eraser, nothing more) were thrown and threats of being damned to hell kept us in place.  And you wonder why I have issues with organised religion.

So, what to tell them.  I work in Human Resources which is like saying I work in Spain - it could mean a million things.  So I focussed on what I do the most, which is project management and I sold it to them as "find something you enjoy/love and get a job where you can do that every day".  For the record I am at enjoy rather than love - but then no one explained careers to me when I was young beyond a careerday about "being an actuary, restocking cheese at Sainsbury's or being a nurse".  Terrifyingly that must have has an impact as I worked for 7 years within Sainsburys, although I never stacked cheese and today I work in a firm that employees about 3,000 acturies.  Nurse - never gonna happen, too squeamish and my people skills, although much improved, wouldn't cut it.

After telling them how the world turns based on project plans - I got a scream when I told them One Direction have a planner who directs their schedule.  It was like saying Bros in 1979! - they each planned a mini project.  It went well - every teacher told me that they don't learn this at school which is a huge miss in my view. 

Then we got to questions:

• How much do you earn?  I gave them a ball park and their jaws dropped.  "is that a lot then?" I asked - "yes" gulped the teacher.  Interesting as the ball park that I gave them was on the lower side.  Hopefully those that love planning and organising can now see a future beyond working in local food retailers.
• "Why do you say you are from Britain, we say England" - because I'm Scottish.
• "Does it rain every day in England?" - I lied and said no.
• "Does it snow in England?" - yes for 5 days every other year.
• "Do you play Baseball in England?" - Not really - Met with disbelief.
• "Do you play football?" - we call it soccer.  "No, football"  ah, you mean Rugby, yes but no padding and helmets.
• "Do you play ice hockey?" Nah!  Eyes like owls at this point.

I should have said earlier that there were three parents giving talks to each class, in rotation.  Me, a uniformed Police Officer who had his gun with him (not sure that was right but he didn't draw it); and a plain clothes police detective who was like Lara Croft.  I like to think my talk was the most fun - yeah right!.

What did I learn?  Rapters is a sports team, not an amphibian zoo in Vaughan; uniformed police use a Smith & Western whilst plain clothes folks prefer the plastic Gluck; they source femail officers guns from USA as you can get smaller lady versions there; At least one person will punch the air and say "yeah!" whenever you mention the Canadian hockey team, mens or womens; at least 6 girls in 10 scream a little bit when you mention One Direction; and apparently asking folks to "chat amongst themselves" for the group work required translation!  Encouragingly, I think, these guys did a great job defining roles within their teams; focussed on costs and profit alongside logistics and when it came to detail their ability to plan out the snacks was awesome.  Good Job!  as they say down here.

Fun In The Basement

Having fun with scraps of canvas, unsized, painted with Acrylic (wash and full strength)

 

Wet the canvas

 

 

Wash

 

 

Splatter & leave to dry

 

Add acrylic flowers

 



Hit a road block

It was glorious weather on Tuesday. I even took my coat off as I walked back from school. The grassy banks were slowly turning from soggy brown to fresh green. Then on Wednesday we had a foot of snow.  That walk to school was less fun for sure.  Why walking to school? Small person has been given a red card and banned from the bus for a week.  Aged 6 he finds it hard to be sensible at the required moments.  Apparently he swapped seats as the bus was moving.  Without seat belts to restrain them they expect good behaviour. It's a struggle.

So we walked to and from school for a week.  It's not far, less than a mile I think, but the trek plays havoc with my work schedule, On Wednesday I lost track of time and only realized the time 10 minutes before the school bell.  I don't run, knees won't let me...that was a very fast walk but I still got there late.  No sign of him. Checked on the embargoed bus...nope. Checked the classroom and the hallways...nope.  Found him after 15 minute search, in the playground waiting with the kids who get collected in cars.  Too much excitement.

The previous day I had been called into the school at 2pm because "he's having  a few problems".  Transpires that he had had enough and gone on strike, demanding to go back to England the next day.   It's been a tough month, with him getting picked on at school, and most likely he has been mean to others in return. I know I am biased, but he is only 6. He feels angry and alone, he wants friends or more accurately he needs to feel that he has friends.  He doesn't feel that. He is sad, he gets distracted easily, he falls behind with the tasks that he is set.  They have incentives most days...finish your sums and you can have some friendship pie.  He fell behind, no pie.  Finish your sentences and you can play outside.  He fell behind, no recess.

It looks to me like the system is not helping him to integrate and is actually making him feel worse.  On the open house on Wednesday I went in to spend an hour in the classroom.  "Show me your desk"... I almost cried. They have isolated him at the desk next to the teacher, with his back to the class.  The Principals words earlier that day about inclusion and integration suddenly very hollow.   I know he can be a little sod, but it just shows that education needs to match the style of the child, not the majority.  It'll get better I am sure.  We have reward charts and the promise of kittens if he listens to the teacher. He has joined a sports class on a Saturday morning and we are looking at soccer club.  I have promised him that we will play together after school no matter how busy my work is.  Basement ping pong is the sport de jour.  We just need to get past the anger. They don't tell you this stuff when you have a kid do they eh?

Preparing my application to participate in an art exhibition

It's April Next Week...

I was looking at my year planner earlier and April is looking exciting.  I will be joining an art group; going to New York; starting a Yoga class (attending, not running one!) and learning a new craft.  "you have a year planner?"  Oh yes.  Month by month, 2 metres by 2 metres, covering the walls of the basement.  It is a takeaway, one of many, from the cool online course I took in January and wrote about in my blog back then.  You could say it sounds nerdy to have such a plan, and I used to see planning as nerdy (outside work that is - at work it's what I do and who would knowingly have a career as a nerd?  that would be dreadful) but I have found in the last few years that:

Talking about stuff and planning in that stuff got us to Canada; a car; a house; a trip to ski mountain; a less crazy work day.  Without planning I believe some personality types just "do", mine being one of them.  I am like a clockwork toy, wind me up and off I go until the ticking stops.  It's not a receipe for a fulfilling life although bosses like it.

In my first and second jobs we were paid hourly, so the more you worked the more money you had, and the less time to spend it, so you got richer.  In those days money for buying stuff was what mattered.  We worked from 8 til 5 and most weekends. Then when I moved up to work as a manager for a huge retail firm the same shift patterns applied - work for 13 days then get 2 days off.  The store opened at 8am and closed at 8pm with an hour each side for setting up and shutting down all of the bits and pieces.  It was expected that you started early and you never ever left before 5.  Often times you stayed til close.  We weren't hourly paid, but salaried, so what drove us to do that? (and all the managers did do it). We believed that it was expected of us (we were all in our 20's) and those in charge liked that we believed that it was expected of us. It served the firms purpose to have managers working, in real terms, for much less than the hourly paid staff.  To this day I say that retail management is one of the toughest jobs you can have. 

So the pattern that work was about "work, work, work, work, sleep - spend weekend vegged out, then doing some pre work" was set in my head from my late teens.  So, back to planning, I conciously plan my work and life balance these days.  Interestingly folks now in their 20's have completely different wiring to my generation, and are less slaves to the implied man.  I hope that is true as it will take a mass movement of people confidently saying "going home now, bye" before businesses actual structure themselves with the true cost of staff rather than running on the fumes of free labour.

The New York trip is a work thing that sees me flying in close to midnight on the Wednesday and leaving for La Guardia around 6am that Friday and being in a 2 day meeting in between.  There are worse jobs to have for sure, and I have had a few of them.  I am looking forward to two days off being mum although I do have my orders to go to Toys R Us to get Beyblade WarriorZ.  The yoga class is partly about chilling out and significantly about stretching as my desk huddle pose is leading to some nasty back pains.

Another take away from that cool online course was making a list of 30 things that I will do this year so...Learning a new craft? - on the list, because I can.  Joining an Art group?...Scary, and scary is good.  Introvert in foreign land seeks art community who may look at her stuff and sneer.  They won't, well not to my face, but if we let fear stop us trying we'll never do half of the fun stuff. 

Oh, and recently someone told me I was "too clever" - not in a smart-arse way (that's a given with me) but in a "it's a form of handicap, as you are different to others" kind of way.  I'm still processing that.  A blog may come from that seed, or I might just go paint a picture.  Lifes too short and if I am that smart, I have no time for morons ;-)

Namaste!

A day in the life

I had a bright idea last week...blog about my day from start to end. A bit naff maybe and likely very dull. I registered the thought in my head and got on with things. Who knew that that Wednesday would turn out to be the worst and best day in ages...

5.45 - alarm goes off and reluctantly I get up. It's too early for himself to get up and make tea so I guess I'd better do it,

6.00 - drink tea in bed, trying not to fall asleep

6.15 - sign in to work

6.30 - erudite and witty on a planning call with colleagues in the Far East.  Although they'll probably say I was rambling and incoherent, lacking caffeine.  Anyway, world peace achieved in 30 minutes then on to another call about goal setting.

7.45 - goal setting call completed; more world peace and quite a lot of admin.

8.00 - prize small boy away from Pokemon to eat breakfast. Cereal is no longer en vogue chez moi so I make a layered yoghurt, Cheerios, yoghurt, muesli ensemble in a glass.  Small boy thinks it is exotic and eats it, getting some on the floor and the chair and down his "pants".

8.10. - persuade small boy to get changed, brush teeth...loud persuasion

8.15 - small boy puts on snow pants, coat, balaclava, boots, gloves and we schlep up the road for the school bus

8.40 - home. Coffee, emails, phone calls.  Repeat for 6 hours, changing coffee to tea after hour 2.  Time spent thinking about going to the bathroom exceeds time spent going to the bathroom by a ratio of 30:1.

2.40 - last call of the day coming to a close. Husband arrives home, third day at new job, home 3 hours early. Try to end call to find out what has happened.

2.45 - husband green and sweating.

2.46 - husband violently sick whilst I  IM friends for hospital info

2.47  - husband asks me to call ambulance

3.00 - ambulance arrives. Talk to ambulance crew, tell them that I need to collect small person from bus

3.30. - run back with small person, ambulance crew waiting to tell me where they are taking him. They leave. I cry. Small person suggests that we buy flowers because he saw that on TV and it makes people happy in hospital. Cry a bit more. Small person reassuring me that daddy will be fine and that he must have eaten too much cake and gotten a bad belly.

3.40 - drop small person off at a friends house, blubb about husband in hospital and drive off.

3.45 - remember that I haven't eaten for 8 hours ( typical work day) so stop at Tim Hortons for tea and a biscuit ( I say it's a scone but hey!) and program sat nav.

4.30 - get to hospital and find husband on a trolley, in pain, having his ear bent by the ambulance crew discussing football and will England qualify for the World Cup.

5.30 - Dr checks him out, on the trolley....X-rays , into a side room, drink radioactive Gatorade, back in 1 hour for cat scan. Hooked up to morphine, slowly sounding sloshed.

6.30 - still waiting for cat scan. Crash team rush next door, alarms blasting out. Man dragged in there, half in a wheelchair, unconscious.  Nurse falls over dragging him in. I guess the cat scan can wait whilst they try to save the guy next door.

7.15 - calm returns. I don't think he made it judging by the people crying in the corridor.

7.20 - off to cat scan. I text the friends looking after small person, to say it's all still going on

7.40 - dr tells us that it is likely appendix but we are waiting on the scan. Surgeon comes in and prods him a lot.  " does this hurt?" No, he's had a pint of morphine! Nothing hurts now.

8.30 - surgeon comes back. It's a kidney stone. 30 more minutes of morphine and he can go home.

9.30 - discharged. I drive home. It's foggy, I have night blindness. The morphine may have dulled the pain but not enough to stop the back seat driver giving me driving advice.

10.10 - in the drug store waiting for a prescription for pain killers

10.30 - in PizzaPizza waiting for chicken wings

11.00 - home, watching the Big Bang Theory, eating junk food. No wine in the house!

Midnight - sleep

6.00am - back talking to China

7.30am - dressed and driving to friends house to see small person.

And so it goes on.  Thankful to my great friends for looking after small person; thankful to the medical staff for being so awesome; thankful to the universe that husband is okay now and in the words of Airplane " looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking"

In phase 2 of holiday detox

On Spring break in the Blue Mountains, fantastic weather, glorious sunshine. When we arrived on Sunday it was icy cold with people skating on the mill pond. We had it all planned out...small person has snowboarding first thing then we chill watching a movie and take him skating the next day.  The sun had other ideas, the skating pond started to melt as the sun rose high in the sky.  Oh well!

Small person loved snowboarding yesterday but super loved skiing this morning. He was a little miffed that they wouldn't let him have snow poles, but we explained many times that they teach you to stop before they teach you to go, hmmm, not impressed with that. I spoke to his teacher this morning and it transpires that Small person, having watched the down hill at the Olympics, believes that to stop you swerve sideways and kick up a wall of snow.  They had to unteach him, and get him to pizza.  He is adamant that he was right because they did it in the Olympics, and "the Olympics is real mum".  The power of TV.  He took to skiing quicker than to snowboarding, but the latter is cooler so it may be a while before he finalizes his Olympic event for 2026.

They are showing movies at the hotel at the village...yesterday he and I saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 which was surprisingly good.  Today he gets to go with daddy whilst I soak up some sun.  Aged over 40 and Celtic but still daft enough to sit in the baking sun ignoring the risks. But It has been cold, very cold and bloody cold here for 4 months, snow on the ground throughout that time.  Today does not herald Spring though as a storm warning is in force ... 15-25 cm of snow over the next 24 hours. Making the most of a lovely day, 15 foot from the piste.

I have 10 whole days off from work...and my brain has completed phase one of holiday transition "dreaming about all of the chaos, filing it in the right drawer whilst I sleep"; now I am in phase 2, too tired to do anything but wishing I was out doing stuff. Phase 3 usually kicks in around day 8 and sees me thinking " great, chilling out, let's go do stuff". Will have to back to work too soon...everyone knows that a holiday should be at least 2 weeks long.  Well everyone born on the right of the Atlantic that is.

Blogging in the basement

It's movie night but I am hiding.  There is a limit to the number of times I can watch Wreck It Ralph.  I didn't play video games as a kid, so the puns escape me.  Small person has already watched it once today as part of his seven hour TV fest that he has dubbed "pyjama Saturday".  Tells you all you need to know about dresscode and timing.  In a bid to stop his brain turning to wax my husband has signed up for a 6 week IT course that sees him out of the house every weekend until mid April.  Leaves plenty of time for mummy and small person to bond.

The fact that I have escaped to the basement speaks volumns.  So here's the thing...how long is enough "quality time?".  I have been reading about being an "available parent" recently (in a magazine, no time to read a whole book!).  Today I have listened to all of his animal impressions; praised him for his Eminem style rap about "having a party and asking your mom if you can".  That one came with street dance moves and was pretty good. Watched Sponge Bob with him (can't help feeling that that is a modern day Captain Pugwash, with all of its double entendres).  We fought the battle of the homework, and I managed to squeeze 15 minutes of effort out of him, to get him to write about winter.  Is that quality time?  Honestly he'd rather watch TV with his mouth open than spend any time with me these days.

I remember some years ago, reading an article by a journo who had a 7 year old son, and she went into print to say how boring it all was being a mum.  She was lambasted and at the time, having struggled for years  to have a child, and still not succeeding, I thought bad things about her.  How could she be so callous? - but now I do understand what she meant.  I love him to the moon and back again but I do struggle to connect with his 6 year old world.

Opportunities for more bonding abound though.  We are off north in a week for a short break at a ski resort.  I have booked ski and snowboard lessons for small person, and whilst I would love to go cross country skiing whilst we are there that is looking less likely.  My husband may get the contract work he has been chasing and if he does (hope he does) he can't come away with us that week.  So I will likely spend my time watching small person having fun.  Which is great, if a little vicarious.  One thing we do both love is painting - so there will definately be a mother and son trip to the pottery painting store at the ski resport, where he will sit silently for 30 minutes, concentrating, with his tongue stuck out, creating a masterpiece souvenir.  Happy Days.

In other news, fell over again on the ice; spent hours at the US embassy asking for permission to go to US and do the job that I am paid to do; handed over a few cents short of $1K and it was approved; went to Walmart and got 2 hair cuts for $30 (me and the boy).  Is there nothing you can't do or get at Walmart?  Worked long hours for two weeks and got nagged by husband for being a slave to the man; went sledging; crocheted a scarf; drank lots of wine; vowed to stop drinking lots of wine; bought a car; painted the bedroom wall that we promised the landlord we would paint back in November; followed a healthy eating regime for 6 whole days, then returned to wine after hearing that our Tennant had let a blocked drain flood the downstairs clockroom through her negligence causing around $1K worth of damage. Back here it snowed a bit, then a lot, then it thawed a bit and we saw grass, then it snowed again.  All in all a busy few weeks.  Take Care.

When we have a car...

We'll be able to:

• buy that enormous bag of bread flour that they sell in Walmart.  I think it is 13kg, not sure, but I want one
• go to the Science Museum (yawn!) which is husband and small persons favorite place
• go the ice rink or the library with small person and not dread the moany walk back
• go to the swimming pool or a yoga class and stretccccch and be taller
• drive to a wool store and drool over all of the yarn
• visit places on a weekend
• go for weekend walks that don't see little legs aching by the time we reach the boundary with nature
• go north for spring break and watch small person have a ski and snowboard lesson
• drive to our allotment that is a promise for spring
• drive to the drop in Art Club every other Saturday, and see about arranging an exhibition
• go to Snoopyland in the summer, but not on the ghost ride
• buy a huge picture in the ReStore shop for $5
• drive north, east or maybe west for our summer holiday

I can't wait.  It's been fun walking around since October; seeing places you miss in a car;  feeling the weather rather than just seeing it from behind a window but i can speak for all of us when I say enough now.  Yes we will live on beans in order to pay for it, whilst husband is jobless, but that is okay.  A new chapter awaits in our Canadian adventure...just as soon as the car gets delivered...counting the days.

Winter Activities

Apparently it's Ground Hog Day today.  I've seen the Bill Murray movie so I know it is something to do with a Goaffer type creature popping out of a hole in a golf course, and that means it will get warmer or stay colder for six week.  I may be blurring Bill's films there.  Our neighbour was explaining it to small person earlier, to which small person pointed out that we don't speak ground hog, so how will it tell us about the weather? Neighbour and I had no answer - so he went back to shovelling the snow off of his driveway, and I returned to digging a snow tunnel that sees me shovelling snow onto our driveway.  Is there any limit to the fun that can be had with snow?

Small person announched later that he had seen a film about winter activities, and that we can make snow lollies with maple syrup.  Worth a try.  Unfortuneately he could not remember anything more than "syrup, snow, lolly" so trial and error were needed.  He and I, on our knees in the back garden, in the pristine snow with a quart or syrup and some lolly sticks...what were those crazy brits doing out there?   Not sure if we did it right but we worked out that if you pour a line of maple syrip along the snow it freezes to a toffee like consistency straight away, and then you can roll it up around the lolly stick.  Small Person declared it to be "belicious" before we escaped back in side as our hands were throbbing in pain, burning with cold.

This week saw us get one step closer to getting a car.  We put down a deposit on a 2007 Landrover and are just waiting to hear if we can get finance for it.  We are good for the money, but with no local credit history (overseas stuff doesn't count) and a visa dated to expire in 2015 it seems we are a high risk.  We are rolling with it, nothing more we can do.  Fingers crossed. 

Small person seems to be settling in at school - he came home with a sticker for good work.  He announced that we had done all of the tasks that the teacher had set him.  That made me smile as when I was at school not doing what you were asked never seems like an option.   He has skating this week, in PE  (gym).  He is very nervous but I hope he loves it.  He is fearless on the pavement (sidewalk) ice, and instinctively puts one arm behind his back like a speed skater.  I am hoping the Olympics will inspire him too.  We have been watching the ski jumping trials and the snowboarding.  Apparently I should try Curling as I am a good sweeper!  His new treat of eating crisps (chips) and popcorn whist watching a dvd gives me ample sweeping practice.

With a new year of adventure ahead of us I'll be exercising, stretching and eating better starting today.  In one year I have shrunk an inch (2.5cm) in height and put on a stone (14lbs).  I do walk a mile or so everyday, but with all of my muscles in the wrong place I am not sure the benefits outweigh the stress on my bones.  I turned on my Yogalates dvd the other day.  (husband describes it as "as new" although I have had it for 7 years).  I did the warm up stretches - they hurt!  Then I skipped to the relaxation session at the end before getting myself a coffee and some buttered toast, and sitting at a desk, on the phone, for 8 hours straight.  Here's to a taller, thinner and more energetic 2014.

Too early to go home, too early to decide to stay

Didn't snow on Friday...made a nice change.  Snowed yesterday though, snowing now.  Lots of snow here.  We blame the weather.

We've been here for 1/3 of a year now.  A pulse survey was issued last night to assess the mood in the camp. Three sections, free text responses. Participation was optional but encouraged, then a rumour went around that 100% participation was expected and the mood changed to one of compliance.  The surveys covered:

1. Things that I like/love about Canada
2. Things that are annoying in Canada
3. Things that "grind my gears" in Canada

When the survey closed participation was at 100%.  I put this down to enthusiasm, engagement but mainly because all partcipants had to put up with me standing over them threateningly until they completed the survey.  Early analysis shows a trend towards snow and snow related matters, although I am advised that the results are not scientifically significant, unlike the snow, which is everywhere.

Results are below and completely anonymous so that no one can ever tell who said what:

Things that I like/love about Canada

• The weather, scenery, elements, space, walking around,
• Snow
• Not working nights
• Cheap travel to the city
• The city
• Watching the small person play in the snow (learning to play)
• "Christmas, because there was no school"
• "Weekends, when we go somewhere"
• Bayblades

Things that are annoying in Canada

• Mummy shouting at me
• Not having a car
• Not working
• The boredom
• Not enough salt on the pavements
• Too much salt in the food (none left for the pavements I guess)
• Snow
• Cars turning right on a red regardless
• Letting the kids watch TV at school lunchtime

Things that "grind my gears" in Canada

• nil
• nothing yet
• The Ghost ride at SnoopyLand...oh, and all rollercoasters!

So analysis tells us that the one with the job would like more time away from work.  The one without the job wants to go to work. The one that gets all of the attention wants more attention and everyone wants a car.

Action planning is now in place, to buy a car and to go somewhere at weekends.  Snow is predicted for the next 40 days so additional tunnel digging is being discussed.  A snow man may appear at some point, although it remains the wrong type of snow for now.  Tickets to Snoopyland have been purchased, but we won't be going on the ghost ride - no way.

Wanted Abroad?

Many years ago I worked in a building 2 miles from my home.  I saw my colleagues everyday that I was at work.  We socialised together - within my terms as an introvert obviously, no clubbing or dancing.  My whole world was very small back then.  Over the years my jobs changed, I moved firms.  My colleagues and I worked in different buildings, over time in different countries.  My parents retired to continental Europe.  My world gradually got bigger although I hadn't physically moved. 

Today I work everyday, over the phone, IM and email, with friends in at least 6 countries.  If we are talking about colleagues rather than friends then that is more like 20 countries.  There is a saying that the world is a much smaller place these days. At the risk of sounding like Sheldon - no, the world has not got smaller.  Travelling just got quicker.

My job is global but the world isn't. Global is a philosophical concept not a map location.  This has been brought home to me these last few months...

I went to the US in November and had to spend a fair while at border control answering questions about the purpose of my travel.  I was simply going to meet, face to face, people I work with every day.  Seems that I need a visa to do that, something about protecting US jobs from folks overseas...I was confused.  The act of being in the same room caused the drama.  Banned from re-entry pending a visa.

My husband is looking for work here.  He has a visa that permits him to work in Ontario, but finding a role is hard because whilst he has the paperwork that says it is okay, there are now laws that restrict firms from hiring temporary foreign workers.  It is to do with protecting the opportunities of more permanent folks, and we get that, but the grit in the wound is that we are being taxed on our Worldwide income...so our logic goes "not keen for him to work here, and contribute, but happy to tax him for work elsewhere.

There are borders everwhere and it is all about tax and $'s. I know that it is for security too, but not at this level.  As my knitting friend said to border security when they questioned her having knitting needles on a flight "I am knitting a jumper, not an Afghan!" 

I have been listening to the BBC this week - they are all afeared of Romanian invaders.  For folks in Europe, debating being in the EU and fearing an influx of folks I say "come live here for a few months, and remind yourself what the borders mean...they prevent you doing what you take for granted; they see you paying huge taxes accross a border; the import taxes of food stuffs is enormous; paperwork and beaurocrachy slows things down and you end up supporting people who are taking out of society whilst preventing them from contributing.  You kind of get the thing you are trying to avoid.

When does it start getting like Star Trek where we all work on the same blue sphere?