Friday 28 March 2014

It's April Next Week...


I was looking at my year planner earlier and April is looking exciting.  I will be joining an art group; going to New York; starting a Yoga class (attending, not running one!) and learning a new craft.  "you have a year planner?"  Oh yes.  Month by month, 2 metres by 2 metres, covering the walls of the basement.  It is a takeaway, one of many, from the cool online course I took in January and wrote about in my blog back then.  You could say it sounds nerdy to have such a plan, and I used to see planning as nerdy (outside work that is - at work it's what I do and who would knowingly have a career as a nerd?  that would be dreadful) but I have found in the last few years that:


Talking about stuff and planning in that stuff got us to Canada; a car; a house; a trip to ski mountain; a less crazy work day.  Without planning I believe some personality types just "do", mine being one of them.  I am like a clockwork toy, wind me up and off I go until the ticking stops.  It's not a receipe for a fulfilling life although bosses like it.

In my first and second jobs we were paid hourly, so the more you worked the more money you had, and the less time to spend it, so you got richer.  In those days money for buying stuff was what mattered.  We worked from 8 til 5 and most weekends. Then when I moved up to work as a manager for a huge retail firm the same shift patterns applied - work for 13 days then get 2 days off.  The store opened at 8am and closed at 8pm with an hour each side for setting up and shutting down all of the bits and pieces.  It was expected that you started early and you never ever left before 5.  Often times you stayed til close.  We weren't hourly paid, but salaried, so what drove us to do that? (and all the managers did do it). We believed that it was expected of us (we were all in our 20's) and those in charge liked that we believed that it was expected of us. It served the firms purpose to have managers working, in real terms, for much less than the hourly paid staff.  To this day I say that retail management is one of the toughest jobs you can have. 

So the pattern that work was about "work, work, work, work, sleep - spend weekend vegged out, then doing some pre work" was set in my head from my late teens.  So, back to planning, I conciously plan my work and life balance these days.  Interestingly folks now in their 20's have completely different wiring to my generation, and are less slaves to the implied man.  I hope that is true as it will take a mass movement of people confidently saying "going home now, bye" before businesses actual structure themselves with the true cost of staff rather than running on the fumes of free labour.

The New York trip is a work thing that sees me flying in close to midnight on the Wednesday and leaving for La Guardia around 6am that Friday and being in a 2 day meeting in between.  There are worse jobs to have for sure, and I have had a few of them.  I am looking forward to two days off being mum although I do have my orders to go to Toys R Us to get Beyblade WarriorZ.  The yoga class is partly about chilling out and significantly about stretching as my desk huddle pose is leading to some nasty back pains.

Another take away from that cool online course was making a list of 30 things that I will do this year so...Learning a new craft? - on the list, because I can.  Joining an Art group?...Scary, and scary is good.  Introvert in foreign land seeks art community who may look at her stuff and sneer.  They won't, well not to my face, but if we let fear stop us trying we'll never do half of the fun stuff. 

Oh, and recently someone told me I was "too clever" - not in a smart-arse way (that's a given with me) but in a "it's a form of handicap, as you are different to others" kind of way.  I'm still processing that.  A blog may come from that seed, or I might just go paint a picture.  Lifes too short and if I am that smart, I have no time for morons ;-)

Namaste!

Monday 24 March 2014

A day in the life

I had a bright idea last week...blog about my day from start to end. A bit naff maybe and likely very dull. I registered the thought in my head and got on with things. Who knew that that Wednesday would turn out to be the worst and best day in ages...

5.45 - alarm goes off and reluctantly I get up. It's too early for himself to get up and make tea so I guess I'd better do it,

6.00 - drink tea in bed, trying not to fall asleep

6.15 - sign in to work

6.30 - erudite and witty on a planning call with colleagues in the Far East.  Although they'll probably say I was rambling and incoherent, lacking caffeine.  Anyway, world peace achieved in 30 minutes then on to another call about goal setting.

7.45 - goal setting call completed; more world peace and quite a lot of admin.

8.00 - prize small boy away from Pokemon to eat breakfast. Cereal is no longer en vogue chez moi so I make a layered yoghurt, Cheerios, yoghurt, muesli ensemble in a glass.  Small boy thinks it is exotic and eats it, getting some on the floor and the chair and down his "pants".

8.10. - persuade small boy to get changed, brush teeth...loud persuasion

8.15 - small boy puts on snow pants, coat, balaclava, boots, gloves and we schlep up the road for the school bus

8.40 - home. Coffee, emails, phone calls.  Repeat for 6 hours, changing coffee to tea after hour 2.  Time spent thinking about going to the bathroom exceeds time spent going to the bathroom by a ratio of 30:1.

2.40 - last call of the day coming to a close. Husband arrives home, third day at new job, home 3 hours early. Try to end call to find out what has happened.

2.45 - husband green and sweating.

2.46 - husband violently sick whilst I  IM friends for hospital info

2.47  - husband asks me to call ambulance

3.00 - ambulance arrives. Talk to ambulance crew, tell them that I need to collect small person from bus

3.30. - run back with small person, ambulance crew waiting to tell me where they are taking him. They leave. I cry. Small person suggests that we buy flowers because he saw that on TV and it makes people happy in hospital. Cry a bit more. Small person reassuring me that daddy will be fine and that he must have eaten too much cake and gotten a bad belly.

3.40 - drop small person off at a friends house, blubb about husband in hospital and drive off.

3.45 - remember that I haven't eaten for 8 hours ( typical work day) so stop at Tim Hortons for tea and a biscuit ( I say it's a scone but hey!) and program sat nav.



4.30 - get to hospital and find husband on a trolley, in pain, having his ear bent by the ambulance crew discussing football and will England qualify for the World Cup.

5.30 - Dr checks him out, on the trolley....X-rays , into a side room, drink radioactive Gatorade, back in 1 hour for cat scan. Hooked up to morphine, slowly sounding sloshed.

6.30 - still waiting for cat scan. Crash team rush next door, alarms blasting out. Man dragged in there, half in a wheelchair, unconscious.  Nurse falls over dragging him in. I guess the cat scan can wait whilst they try to save the guy next door.

7.15 - calm returns. I don't think he made it judging by the people crying in the corridor.

7.20 - off to cat scan. I text the friends looking after small person, to say it's all still going on

7.40 - dr tells us that it is likely appendix but we are waiting on the scan. Surgeon comes in and prods him a lot.  " does this hurt?" No, he's had a pint of morphine! Nothing hurts now.

8.30 - surgeon comes back. It's a kidney stone. 30 more minutes of morphine and he can go home.

9.30 - discharged. I drive home. It's foggy, I have night blindness. The morphine may have dulled the pain but not enough to stop the back seat driver giving me driving advice.

10.10 - in the drug store waiting for a prescription for pain killers

10.30 - in PizzaPizza waiting for chicken wings

11.00 - home, watching the Big Bang Theory, eating junk food. No wine in the house!

Midnight - sleep

6.00am - back talking to China

7.30am - dressed and driving to friends house to see small person.

And so it goes on.  Thankful to my great friends for looking after small person; thankful to the medical staff for being so awesome; thankful to the universe that husband is okay now and in the words of Airplane " looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking"





Tuesday 11 March 2014

In phase 2 of holiday detox

On Spring break in the Blue Mountains, fantastic weather, glorious sunshine. When we arrived on Sunday it was icy cold with people skating on the mill pond. We had it all planned out...small person has snowboarding first thing then we chill watching a movie and take him skating the next day.  The sun had other ideas, the skating pond started to melt as the sun rose high in the sky.  Oh well!

Small person loved snowboarding yesterday but super loved skiing this morning. He was a little miffed that they wouldn't let him have snow poles, but we explained many times that they teach you to stop before they teach you to go, hmmm, not impressed with that. I spoke to his teacher this morning and it transpires that Small person, having watched the down hill at the Olympics, believes that to stop you swerve sideways and kick up a wall of snow.  They had to unteach him, and get him to pizza.  He is adamant that he was right because they did it in the Olympics, and "the Olympics is real mum".  The power of TV.  He took to skiing quicker than to snowboarding, but the latter is cooler so it may be a while before he finalizes his Olympic event for 2026.

They are showing movies at the hotel at the village...yesterday he and I saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 which was surprisingly good.  Today he gets to go with daddy whilst I soak up some sun.  Aged over 40 and Celtic but still daft enough to sit in the baking sun ignoring the risks. But It has been cold, very cold and bloody cold here for 4 months, snow on the ground throughout that time.  Today does not herald Spring though as a storm warning is in force ... 15-25 cm of snow over the next 24 hours. Making the most of a lovely day, 15 foot from the piste.



I have 10 whole days off from work...and my brain has completed phase one of holiday transition "dreaming about all of the chaos, filing it in the right drawer whilst I sleep"; now I am in phase 2, too tired to do anything but wishing I was out doing stuff. Phase 3 usually kicks in around day 8 and sees me thinking " great, chilling out, let's go do stuff". Will have to back to work too soon...everyone knows that a holiday should be at least 2 weeks long.  Well everyone born on the right of the Atlantic that is.


Saturday 1 March 2014

Blogging in the basement

It's movie night but I am hiding.  There is a limit to the number of times I can watch Wreck It Ralph.  I didn't play video games as a kid, so the puns escape me.  Small person has already watched it once today as part of his seven hour TV fest that he has dubbed "pyjama Saturday".  Tells you all you need to know about dresscode and timing.  In a bid to stop his brain turning to wax my husband has signed up for a 6 week IT course that sees him out of the house every weekend until mid April.  Leaves plenty of time for mummy and small person to bond.

The fact that I have escaped to the basement speaks volumns.  So here's the thing...how long is enough "quality time?".  I have been reading about being an "available parent" recently (in a magazine, no time to read a whole book!).  Today I have listened to all of his animal impressions; praised him for his Eminem style rap about "having a party and asking your mom if you can".  That one came with street dance moves and was pretty good. Watched Sponge Bob with him (can't help feeling that that is a modern day Captain Pugwash, with all of its double entendres).  We fought the battle of the homework, and I managed to squeeze 15 minutes of effort out of him, to get him to write about winter.  Is that quality time?  Honestly he'd rather watch TV with his mouth open than spend any time with me these days.

I remember some years ago, reading an article by a journo who had a 7 year old son, and she went into print to say how boring it all was being a mum.  She was lambasted and at the time, having struggled for years  to have a child, and still not succeeding, I thought bad things about her.  How could she be so callous? - but now I do understand what she meant.  I love him to the moon and back again but I do struggle to connect with his 6 year old world.


Opportunities for more bonding abound though.  We are off north in a week for a short break at a ski resort.  I have booked ski and snowboard lessons for small person, and whilst I would love to go cross country skiing whilst we are there that is looking less likely.  My husband may get the contract work he has been chasing and if he does (hope he does) he can't come away with us that week.  So I will likely spend my time watching small person having fun.  Which is great, if a little vicarious.  One thing we do both love is painting - so there will definately be a mother and son trip to the pottery painting store at the ski resport, where he will sit silently for 30 minutes, concentrating, with his tongue stuck out, creating a masterpiece souvenir.  Happy Days.

In other news, fell over again on the ice; spent hours at the US embassy asking for permission to go to US and do the job that I am paid to do; handed over a few cents short of $1K and it was approved; went to Walmart and got 2 hair cuts for $30 (me and the boy).  Is there nothing you can't do or get at Walmart?  Worked long hours for two weeks and got nagged by husband for being a slave to the man; went sledging; crocheted a scarf; drank lots of wine; vowed to stop drinking lots of wine; bought a car; painted the bedroom wall that we promised the landlord we would paint back in November; followed a healthy eating regime for 6 whole days, then returned to wine after hearing that our Tennant had let a blocked drain flood the downstairs clockroom through her negligence causing around $1K worth of damage. Back here it snowed a bit, then a lot, then it thawed a bit and we saw grass, then it snowed again.  All in all a busy few weeks.  Take Care.