Squam, Calm & Slow

Last Wednesday I headed for the airport, frazzled from work, life and parenthood. I was so tired that my expectations were just for peace. Peace to think, peace to breathe, peace to be.  Wobbly at my foundations, after the tragic death of Robin Williams which hit home hard, I needed repair.  My flight to Boston was like a roller coaster - seat belts at lock and load. I arrived at Logan with a 90 minute wait for my shuttle ride to the mountains.  Oh my, what a sparce airport...Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts and a magazine rack.  Coffee in hand I sat and crocheted the time away.  No rush.  Nice to be able to sit still for once.

Picked up on the dot by Joe, my shuttle driver, I headed to the mountains of New Hampshire and made great friends as we drove.  Three awesome kindred spirits on the bus, plus the inspiring Joe who embodied the American dream.  After 90 minutes we arrived at RDC...a  wooded property on Squam lake, dotted with uninsulated cedar and pine cabins with stone chimneys and ancient "iceboxes" topped up daily by Ice Boys.

My room was like Little House On The Prairie...stark, clean, wooden with a cosy bed and a window that let in nature.  I took a nap and woke up for dinner.  An introvert in a crowd...of introverts. It was so easy to talk and make connections...so easy.  What was that about?

My first workshop started with an activity to let go of concerns and embrace adventure.  I pledged to stop thinking and just be; to slow down; to notice where I was and how I felt.  Sounds easy but it took effort and courage.  I had the best time from that point in, I painted, I walked, I danced, I ate great food but most importantly I had found my tribe.  These were people who dressed like me; thought like me; creative; achievers; heroines of challenging lives.  It was the most present I have felt in my entire life.  It was the best of times.

It's so hard to describe further...but in 2 words it was calm and real.  I can't wait to go again next year. Rather than wish away the year in between I aim to take what I learnt and apply it to my life now.  Life is so short that we should embrace it and spend it wisely, doing what we love, close to nature, with kindred spirits.

When I was 18--25 I lived a hippyish style life, I worked with plants; my friends were hippies; It was the age of Aquarius.  I was clean, but they smoked herbs.  Those were fun times and I haven't thought of them in years.  It's so funny...a few weeks back I had looked at my wardrobe and thought " I need to smarten up, get a more corporate look".  In truth I now know that I need to dress more like me, more layers, more woollens, more autumn shades, more trips to the Thrift Store and more sewing my own clothes.  I had it right at 18, and only now do I get that.  I won't turn up at meetings in what my husband calls "bag lady chic" - don't bite the hand that feeds.  But I know who I am now, and I met 100 people just like me, so in the spirit of Inclusion I will bring myself to work and throughout my life, without appology. Happy days.

Planning My Escape

After the longest school holiday season we have ever known I am ready for peace and quiet.  Anyone with kids knows that "a holiday with kids" is essentially "same old same old, just in a different location".  Unless you are rich enough to go to places with a kids clubs. or lucky enough to have relatives to go along with you, there really is no rest at all.  Maybe we feel this so much because we have an only child, or maybe because we had him "late in life", likely both of those reasons plus a huge spoonful of our shared introvertion that values silence for a few hours every day. 

I recall when I first realised that I needed to live with and marry this guy - it was when we could sit in silence for ages and neither of us felt uncomfortable or the need to fill the air with words.  Bring a baby into that world, on your 40th birthday, and its noise noise noise from there on in.  I love the little bugger to bits, well both of them really, large and small, but I do need some peace - so I am off to an art retreat in New Hampshire for 5 days, stopping over in Boston for a night on my return "because I can".  Not too sure what to expect at the retreat but its 5 days when I don't have to have debates about brushing teeth; not eating meals in front of the TV, restricting the IPad.  "Oh mum, please let me watch videos on the Ipad, I'll only watch inappropriate stuff, I promise".

Being a planner you'd imagine I had everything organised, but not so much this time.  I booked the retreat before I knew how I would pay for it; I fly out in 2 days and I still have no firm idea how to get from Logan Airpot to a lake side in New Hampshire.  The only preparations I have done is to spend 1 hour in the local thrift store buying 9 T-shirts that I will transform into a wrap; a cardigan and - get this - leg warmers! "Fame!"  In the joining instructions it talks about taking your own sewing machine if you want to.  I'm guessing many folks aren't flying in.  I plan to get all of my stuff in one holdall, but I'll check it in rather than spend 20 minutes at security explaining the presence of knitting needles and scissors.  I think they are less stringent now but better safe than sorry.

In wider news, my husband's work contract was extended another 6 months; the kittens Mogg and Dave are 7 months old now, enormous and all set for the snip in a months time.  The vet talked me through the process of spaying and neutering and I did have to remind him that they are both Female, even Dave.  I guess he'd have spotted that soon enough.  The allotment is at full harvest.  We have 32 pumpkins, a tonne of beans and Sunflowers that reach the sky.  Small person went back to school this week.  He loves it!  Thank goodness.  After a miserable first year, getting into trouble in the pursuit of "fitting in" and being sat in the corridor most days, hopefully he'll enjoy this year.  Fingers and toes are crossed.  (although the downside of him having a group of friends is that our house is full of screaming children every day - downside is for the introverts who like some silence sometimes.  Small person loves the chaos.)

I painted a fabulous picture for the local art show, only to get distracted by my paid work, and forget to enter it before the deadline.  I am thinking about joining the board of the local community farm, as they have some challenges ahead around funding and securing their future and I think I can help.  Small person and I went to family yoga earlier - it was a free demo.  Small person enjoyed some of it and lay on the floor sulking for other parts, especially after he stretched too far and "split his pants".  We won't be signing up for the programme.

Blue Potatoes & Captain UnderPants

The leaves are beginning to turn just a little.  Only about 5% of them but enough to tell us that summer is winding down.  I think it's been a lovely summer, weather wise, but locals tell me its been dreadful - I guess its what you are used to.

Saturday today so a slight lie in after a very long (not) part time work week.  It does seem to be a 21st Century phenomenom that the weeks prior and post your holiday see you making up the time that you were off.  Could be worse. Not many people get to work with cats at their feet and crickets cricketing outside their window.  So slight lie in, feed the guys then off out to Alton Mills to collect some leaflets and posters to distribute for the September Art show.  By all accounts it will be fantastic because they rejected my entries so the standard must be very very high ;-). 

After a beautiful 40 minute drive north to the Mill I collected my leaflets, and orders on where to take them, then spent a silent 30 minutes looking at art. They have a new exhibition with judged entry starting soon and I am working on a piece for that, so I wanted to see what "acceptable" looked like.  Some of the art is mind blowingly good - huge canvas' heavy with bright oil paint, landscapes, abstract, lots inspired by Canadian flora.  And some of the art, well lets just say its not to my taste, too fussy and laboured.  Each to her own.  I took my husband and small person to the Mill last weekend as we were out exploring.  In a rare moment of praise he exclaimed "you can do better than this crap".  Bless him.

Head home past some very fine Firemen running a charity car wash in aid of the local Hospice.  Using their big equipment. It would be rude not to stop I reckon.  I'll move on now as the temptation for paragraphs of double entendres has been beaten down.

So, leaflets in the car and off I went, spending a lovely 2 hours driving here and there giving them out.  The library, the sports centre- all very accepting.  The book store - no, already had them but that was okay, not a wasted trip as I found out that the new Captain UnderPants is out on Tuesday and she has a load in stock waiting to go on sale ;-)

Next stop Starbuck, with leaflets and in need of an ice tea.  As I suspected Starbucks only support local community activity that is non profit, and as the Art show is folks selling their creations the corporate giant said no.  Finger to the man - off to the local Art studio to see the owner who was very happy to take some.  Off to the Pottery painting store, where they greeted me by name, again very happy to help.  Next Second Cup thinking they'd do a Starbucks on me, but no.  Poster up and off I go.  (It was just like the Ruby in there, Corner Gas watchers, and it is attached to the gas station!).  Final stop the ReStore. They said absolutely, poster up.  All in all a great morning and I am feeling very connected to the community at last.

Home, feet up for 10 minutes when small person announces that he and his BFFs are waiting by the car, to go to the Skate Park.  Now here's the thing - recently I have started saying "tomorrow we could..."; "maybe we could..." and it is being absorbed and processed as "10 minutes after she gets back we are going out".  The joy of a 6 year old mind!  So, I agree but with a catch. "I'll take you all to the skate park if first you come with me to the allotment to dig up some potatoes".  Huge sigh from mine with wining; but the 2 BFFs were totally up for it.  A fun 15 minute journey where two 6 year olds and an 8 year old try to out do each other with boasts about who has the biggest head, before One Direction comes on the radio and I have to crank up the volume as they all sing along.

Mine wanders off to play with the hose pipe whilst the 2 BFFs offer to help me get the potatoes.  They had no idea where we'd find them, probably hanging from trees.  My garden fork was enough to awe them.  "It's like a giant fork!" they tell me.  Bless.  So I dig a little and turn the soil over and they are absorbed with spotting the treasure.  No moans about dirt or bugs - we filled a bucket with 10lbs of spuds. It was great fun and they liked it too. 

To top off an already great day, the Indian chap from the other plot came over to thank me for the Blue Potatoes that I gave him last week.  He boiled them, he told us, and "they tasted so good, like butter" - he said this with great florish and sincerity.  I remarked that they are a little odd looking as they go light blue when boiled but he tossed that remark away with his hands and said.  "but the taste.  So good."  Such a nice man.  Such a great day.

A month has passed since I wrote...

What have we done in that time?  Small person and I went camping. First night there was an amazing storm, thunder, lightning, very very awesome.  We weren't scared but small person did wake me at 3 am to say that he wanted it to stop as it was keeping him awake.  We lasted two nights then went home, a day early.  I have concluded that we need a holiday where there is organized kids entertainment.  He can make friends fast but once those folks drift off for dinner he expects me to be Mrs Tumble and I can't be doing with all of that.  I'm tired and grumpy.

So where next ...I am taking him to New York for a weekend in August.  No planned kids entertainment but hopefully it matches his energy level so no boredom will set in.  We have a budget of $150 whilst we are there...so we will eat pizza, drink cheap pop and do free stuff...central park will figure highly and there is a free kids show in Bryant park each afternoon...yes please.  He wants to stay up late so Toys R Us after dinner is the Friday night plan.  Off to see Matilda on Sat night.  Our one extravegance. Sunday planning a hop on hop off bus trip stopping at the museum where the animals come awake at night.  I have warned him that the Tablet of Armun Ra is at the Smithsonian so nothing will come to life, but he is ever hopeful.

Talking of magic and mysticism, I read a help guide recently on childcare.  Mine is six and a half so I figured reading one book in that time wasn't excessive.  It was the Child Whisperer, and despite my cynicism at the start I thought it was great.  It is an evolution of Jungian theory - like MBTI for kids.  That appealed to me because I had studied all of that back in the day when I worked in training and development.  "It really spoke to me" but that may be because the author and I have the same personality type.  The type that loves 4 box models and categorization.

I recommend it to anyone though. I learnt that small person and I have the same type, loud, spontaneous, action oriented, get bored by qu 3 of a 10 question quiz. I am planning on writing a one pager for his new teacher titled Understanding My Child!  I learnt that my husband is a different type to the boy and I. He is inaction to our action; he is silence to our jibber jabber.  No revelation there, but interesting. And I learnt that my husband's type are prone to say "that is stupid" a lot, and what they are actually saying is "that could have been done so much better".  It's not them being abusive, they are disappointed. Fascinating I thought.

Back to July, I have been going to Yoga, which is great. Yin Yan yoga which is all about stretching, calm and breathing. It is a great way to try and chill for an hour.  My lack of bendiness is alarming  but I knew that.  Scooting around with small person has likely exacerbated my knee problem, so that I now have a loose kneecap.  Long walks to and from camp this week have required an orthopaedic knee brace, which is such an "on trend" look with my shorts. But walking anywhere in Canada is level one eccentric, so hobbling adds nothing much to my already odd persona.

The allotment is thriving although it will be all but a pumpkin patch a month from now...they are like triffids. Even the colorado beetles avoid them.  All in all a busy month living life.

Venom or the Incredible Hulk?

Who'd win?  I say Hulk ( I always say Hulk, huge fan).  Apparently the answer is Venom "as he grows badder every day."  Good to know.  Filed that information to use later.

Day off tomorrow - Canada Day.  The street opposite ours is having a street party, huge flags draped accross the road.  Reminds me of the Queens Silver Jubilee when I was a kid, although needs more blue with the red and white.  Our plans include not getting up at 6am and at some point, in between storms, going to the allotment.

A Cheeter or the Incredible Hulk - who can jump higher?  I say Hulk.  No, a cheeter "cheeters can jump a million high"   Good to know.  Filed.

I was feeling homesick yesterday - saw lots of friends on facebook and was reminded of how long it is since I went out for a coffee or a drink; had a grown up meal; had a break.  As we drove up to the allotment small person and I chatted about England and missing friends...he misses his little bromance gang and the girls who liked him to chase them at playtime.  "Should we go back home?" I asked.  "Seriously Mom!  Oh my Gawd! no way".  So you like it here then?  Good.  What do you like best?  "MarineLand and in Grade 2 we get to go swimming as a lesson...from school in a building!" 

Who is the only superhero that can defeat Venom?  Hulk?  "no mum, I'll give you a clue, it begins with a SSSS"  Spiderman,  no.  Superman, no.  You're sure its not the Hulk?  "SSSSSSSSilver surfer, but he doesn't want to fight, so Venom just gets stronger."  Aha!

Small person and I are going camping on Sunday for 3 nights, in a Yurt.  It has a proper bed and electricity and is near both the showers and the childrens play area so hopefully we have all bases covered.  We spent a fun hour in Canadian Tire earlier buying stuff...cooking stove, check, cooler, check,  enormous marshmallows, check, but we have eaten most of them already.  Also for $12 at the recycle shop we got plates, cups, cooking pots, barbeque tools.  We are good to go.  The Ipad is coming, but it will have a low profile and will only come out for car journeys to MarineLand and the Zip Line park (eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk). I have introduced a new regime for summer - "If you want 30 minutes on the ipad you have to draw one picture and write one sentence in your summer scrapbook".  This worked well on the first day, all be it that it took some explaining and rebuffing his attempt to renegotiate terms.  Now, on day three he doesn't want the ipad - great...but the journal?  Please write a sentence, keep your brain working.  Nope.  Hmmm!

I just asked him "Darth Vader or Venom?".  Venom.  "Why?"  Because he has webs, he can tie Vader up!  Obvious really when you think about it.

Happy Canada Day!

It's so quiet!

Every night for the last two weeks the street has been filed with kids playing, going in and out of others houses. We have become part of that with Small person now having 5 BFFs in our road. But tonight all is silent. The streets are empty, apart from the Canadian guy 3 doors up who fixes his car at weekends, drinks beer and some week shouts "the f word".  Italy are playing football and the folks here take that very seriously.  I was going to watch the match, as they are playing England, but I was out voted by a small person who wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland ( again) and a large person who wants an easier life.  So I breeched the curfew and cut the front lawn...alone, just me and the Kanuk fixing his car.

Earlier today small person went to a party...a pool party.  Should I leave him or should I stay? He put his trunks on, jumped in the deep end which is 10 foot deep, and had to be dragged to the edge by the birthday boy.  I stayed.  "Harking but nah heeding" is the order of the day with him at the moment. I chatted with Mums as he splashed and sploshed for 3 hours. We talked about school stuff, as 3 of them are teachers.  I learnt that I should be doing 30 minutes, reading, riting and rythmatic with him every night, in addition to homework.  I had no idea.  I learnt that spelling and grammar have been removed from the curriculum.  When I told my husband that he used the f word.  We have found the cost of moving to Canada...education.

I have bought the Child Whisperer on kindle - maybe whispering rather than shouting will get the small person to pay more attention...we shall see. I have read the first three pages but then I fell asleep for 2 hours.  Introvert talking with strangers at pool party equals exhaustion.  Another party tomorrow...this one is at Chuck e Cheese, which I have only heard about in movies. A friend tells me is is nasty pizza, watery wine and flat beer, but kids love it.  My husbands Fathers Day treat is that he gets to stay home alone whilst we go to the party. What price respite?

Happy Fathers Day to my dad, home alone with the cats.  Love you.

Culture Shock

I was at work on Friday, beavering away in my office at home, when through the window I heard a fascinating conversation that told me more about the difference between Europeans and North Americans than I ever knew. My neighbour from next door but one, many generation Canadian, was having a conversation with the woman across the street. He doesn't work as he is on the compo, with a back injury.  I know this as that was Thursdays listening novello.  I assume he gets bored as he pounces on people for conversation the minute they leave their homes or cars.  Any how, the cultural shock story..

He..." Do you watch soccer?"

She... "No, I don't get it."

He..."I know, the scores are like 1 to zero after 90 minutes.  90 minutes and that's all you get!.  Men running around a huge field chasing a white ball.  There's no excitement and low scores eh!"

She..."there's a competition starting soon, I've seen flags on cars"

He..."Yeah, the World Cup.  They make a big fuss about it. I just don't get it."

Then the Polish guy up the street gets home, they share their confusion with him.  He disagrees with them obviously, so my neighbour tries to explain that Hockey is a real game, "There's contact and fighting and they score 45. It's fast, I like a fast game. Soccer is slow.  I don't get it!"

Now I'm not a huge football fan, being a Scotland supporter you learn early that the only way you get to the World Cup is on a package deal or an Easy Jet flight.  But I supported Spurs from the sofa back when Ricky Villa and Ozzy were all the rage.  I watched that other Argy handball to win. I know that Camaroon do that corner post dance thing when they score.  I know that Pele is a god and Terry is a dreadful role model, but a great defender.  I know that the national team suffers because the players have greater loyalty to their clubs, that are floated on the stock market and driven by money men. 

I spent the first 15 years of my working life in a male dominated world.  Where football was discussed for hours every Monday morning, and then again after the mid week match.  I know it's about skill and stamina, that the team formation is critical. I don't understand the offside rule...but more in terms of why do you need it.  I get the whole formation part of it.  I learnt, at 19, that you don't join in those conversations unless you know your stuff.  They are serious, important, tribal.  They are where men, who rarely express emotion, express emotion.  I never joined in.  I made the right noises if questioned.  Clearly Watford were the better team and Luton were W*****s.  Apparently still the case.

So, to hear a grown man saying that he has nothing in his blood for football is actually shocking to me.  It is my first "you are not like us" experience.  I had assumed that would be over politics or war, but no...sport.  I guess that whilst the Olympics unites us, ball games devide us.

I'll stick with my plants:-)