Did you have a good Christmas?

It's back to work next week after 10 days "off". "Did you have a good Christmas?" folks will ask. What shall I reply? I think I'll go with "yes thanks, how about you?" rather than the longer version. In truth I kind of went away for Christmas. I was here for small person and ooh'd and ahh'd in all of the right places.  Husband spent hours roasting a turkey, I spent hours making mince pies from scratch...including the mince meat.  Weeks of watching Tudor Monastery Farm had me convinced that chucking fruit and booze in a bowl was all that was needed. The rum and brandy helped them taste right.  Santa came a left lots of lovely gifts. Small person was very happy if a little over wrought by the build up and excitement.  On a bedroom time out by 9 am cooling off from a tantrum.  And through it all I was unwell.

The weeks leading up to Christmas were extremely stressful. Work stress, awake at 4 am and down to the sofa to fall asleep in front of the TV. Then stomach flu that became head flu which for the last 10 days has meant back pain.  Two physio massages and my back and neck hurt a lot.  A routine trip to Toronto for a mammogram, just because I'm at the age when you have those. Then a call back Christmas Eve for another mammogram and an ultrasound.  The nurse telling me that that is not unusual to be called back, as they have no previous records for me, but it got me thinking...and feeling the fear.

Usually at Christmas I plan ahead - I like planning. I don't always follow my plans but I like the order that is created, all be it superficial, by making plans. Where shall we go on holiday this year? Should we get another car once our house is sold? Should I join weight watchers? What shall we do for husbands 50th birthday?  I am distracted this year by a huge self indulgence of feeling ill and worrying that I am ill'er, if that's a word.  I think that is a symptom of being stuck indoors in 12 days of Christmas limbo.

I sent small person to day camp yesterday as I had pre planned that, worried that he'd be stir crazy by now.  He's fine but I think I'm the stir crazy one. After a brisk ( not too brisk so as to fall over ) walk in the snow, to buy essentials I cleared the drive of snow.  I was ably assisted  by three small children from up the street who came with shovels. I paid them in candy.  It's the way we do things in this street.  Then I made a healthy lunch and settled down to watch Gone With The Wind. 3 hours later I remembered how it annoys me that he left her...great film though.  I cooked Chana Dal for my dinner...having made turkey stew for the guys.  It said add 7 chillies, so on the advice of the author to half the chillies, on seeing my pale Celtic skin, I added only three.  Who knew you were supposed to take the seeds out. That's one hot Chana Dal.

So today, it's me and small person, again no car and he's out up the street throwing snow around with his friends.  They'll play old school for 20 minutes then pile in and fight over the Xbox. They have a very loud and volatile relationship.... When 2 play it's okay, when 3 it gets loud, today it sounds like 5 have turned up out there.  There will be demands to "get off my property" from small person any time soon.

My plans? Tidy up a bit, take an ibuprofen, rest, cough. Drink lots of water. Maybe get the paints out...we shall see. No point worrying - worry has no value.  And when people ask "did you have a good Christmas?" I shall say yes.

Namaste